I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
