this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
