Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
