Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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