So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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