Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
