Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I did not marry a roomba.
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