WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
