i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize