yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
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I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize