Nicole vs. Life
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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