i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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