It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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