I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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