I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
