You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
