Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
