Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
