Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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