I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
