My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
