so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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