I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We're too hungover to prance.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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