no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
