He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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