You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
