went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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