She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So vagazzling was a success
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
