He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize