my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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