Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize