Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
