i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
