you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
