Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize