Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
