Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
