16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
