I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
