So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
