God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
