oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
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she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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