Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
