We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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