I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the condom got lost in my hair
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
