New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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