she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My life is pants optional.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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