He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
