do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
