Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
