Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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