obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
