even my farts smell like vagina
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
