all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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