You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
