u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
