Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
