How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
