it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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