he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
