remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
