what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Everyone says I win the strip club
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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