whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
