roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
