that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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