Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
