My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
