Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
