just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
